Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
