Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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