sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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