One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
