Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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