I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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