i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
