What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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