You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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