speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
