Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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