Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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