I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
