I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
