Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Ketchup is God's man juice
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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