Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
