Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
