why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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