im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There r osticjed everywhere
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
