At least make sure they are 18
Why
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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