I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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