on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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