My first STD was from a foam party
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
