they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
