Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
