he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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