i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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