Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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