Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
