You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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