Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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