i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
