i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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