super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
