the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
