Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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