Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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