At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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