I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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