Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
