I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
