I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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