Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
