32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
me + whiskey = a bad person
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
