Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
