His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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