So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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