his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
