Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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