it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
