That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
