You're a womanizer and a bitch.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
