She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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