i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
