I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
