There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
