I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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